Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety (Part Four)
As we have covered in Parts 1-3, the greatest barrier to your success is not the economy, your work habits or your opportunities. Your greatest source of stress is not money or the weather or any physical thing.
The biggest source of business problems, career difficulties and personal stress is antisocial people-people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who openly or secretly oppose you, cut you down and cause you trouble.
When you handle or disconnect from an antisocial person, you feel better. You relax. You succeed more than you fail. You have less to fight on your way to your goals.
The first four ways to identify an antisocial person were covered in Parts 1-3. All three parts are posted at our new website at www.tipsforsuccess.org/success-articles.htm. Here are two more ways to identify an antisocial person.
Antisocial Person's Friends, Family and Co-workers
While the antisocial will not change or improve his or her behavior, his or her associates can improve and succeed. Yet as long as they are connected to the antisocial, their improvement is temporary.
They get better and then get worse. They are happy and then depressed. Such people are on a roller coaster ride.
"5. Surrounding such a personality we find cowed or ill associates or friends who, when not driven actually insane, are yet behaving in a crippled manner in life, failing, not succeeding." - L. Ron Hubbard
Like most people, you have good intentions and try to improve your life. Your statistics in life go up, life gets better.
But then you talk to an antisocial. He or she makes you feel like you are failing.
"Everyone will think you're egotistical if you buy that Mercedes."
"I'm sure that because you make more money than all of us, the IRS will audit you."
"After your life falls apart, don't blame me! I've done my best to help you, but you just won't listen to me anymore."
If you believe these statements, you may lose interest or get a headache and your production statistics drop. Eventually, you fight your way out of the mental turbulence and start to succeed again . . . for a while. Up and down like a roller coaster.
The stress of such situations is extreme. The stress can make you ill. As long as you are associated with the antisocial, you may not fully recover from an illness.
Your family can also suffer the effects of an antisocial. Instead of a safe, comfortable home life, he or she makes your family uncommunicative, negative or bitter.
The opposite is true with a social person. "The friends and associates of a social personality tend to be well, happy and of good morale." - L. Ron Hubbard
Mental stability is also a concern with those associated with antisocials.
"The largest number of insane are insane because of such antisocial connections and do not recover easily for the same reason." "Unjustly we seldom see the antisocial personality actually in an institution. Only his `friends' and family are there." - L. Ron Hubbard
Do you know someone who drives you crazy?
Wrong Targets
"6. The antisocial personality habitually selects the wrong target.
"If a tire is flat from driving over nails, he or she curses a companion or a noncausative source of the trouble. If the radio next door is too loud, he or she kicks the cat.
"If A is the obvious cause, the antisocial personality inevitably blames B, or C or D." - L. Ron Hubbard
Terrorist attacks are, of course, wrong targets. Killing solves nothing.
Charles Manson persuaded his followers to commit several murders. He testified he was trying to improve the "establishment." Later, he said a Beatles song made him do it.
Politicians, psychiatrists and social workers often select wrong targets.
"The Republicans ruined the economy."
"He robs stores because of his chemical imbalance."
"She needs more welfare checks because society is prejudiced against her."
Examples of wrong targets you see every day:
The driver behind you on the road decides you are the reason he is late for work.
A surgeon is sued for a terminal cancer patient's death.
A man who can't pay his bills blames his kids.
Recommendation
When an antisocial person decides you are to blame, face them head on. Direct confrontation stops him or her from using you as the wrong target.
"Wait a minute! I'm your boss, the one who pays you. I am not the one who got you into debt."
"You did not crash the car because I was in the back seat."
"You're unhappy because you make yourself unhappy, not because I won't do what you want me to do."
Read Part One of "Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety" by clicking here
Read Part Two of "Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety" by clicking here
Read Part Three of "Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety" by clicking here
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