Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety (Part One)
The biggest barrier to a successful career is not a lack of opportunities, the job market or your city. The greatest problem in business is not marketing, other companies or the economy. The greatest source of stress in life is not money or the weather or any physical thing.
The biggest source of business problems, career difficulties and personal stress is other people. Specifically, antisocial people—people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who oppose you, treat you with disrespect and cause you trouble.
For example, one of the most famous antisocial personalities was Adolf Hitler. Hitler loved children and pets. He was a vegetarian who neither smoked nor drank. He was kind and considerate to the ladies, secretaries and chauffeurs. Most people thought he was a nice guy. You would never suspect he organized the deaths of millions of people.
Antisocial personalities can be doctors, lawyers, politicians, business leaders, police officers, newspaper reporters, employees, men, women, old, young . . . anyone. They can be family members, spouses and colleagues of any type. You probably know more than one antisocial person.
When the antisocial is openly nasty or critical of you, it is easy to see how they can ruin your life. What is worse are antisocial persons who hide their true intentions. These types are the most destructive as it’s hard to see who is stabbing you in the back.
When you handle an antisocial so he or she can no longer affect you, you feel great! You feel stable, more confident and in better control. Becoming a success is much, much easier.
So how can you recognize antisocial people?
They Speak in Generalities
“When we trace the cause of a failing business, we will inevitably discover somewhere in its ranks the antisocial personality hard at work.”
“It is important then to examine and list the attributes of the antisocial personality. Influencing as it does the daily lives of so many, it well behooves* decent people to become better informed on this subject.
“The antisocial personality has the following attributes:
“1. He or she speaks only in very broad generalities. They say . . .’ ‘Everybody thinks . . .’ ‘Everyone knows . . .’ and such expressions are in continual use, particularly when imparting rumor.” — L. Ron Hubbard (*behooves: to be necessary or proper for)
Have you ever been to a meeting when someone said, "We’re all having troubles because of the economy," “People don’t like anyone who’s too successful” or "Everyone in this area is having a rough time"? These are generalities.
Whenever you hear a statement that starts, "Everyone says . . . “ or “All the citizens feel . . . “ or "The employees think . . . ,” you must perk your ears. You have just heard the start of a generality.
Now if the generality is a good message, you can relax. “Everyone thinks you are doing a great job!” However, if the message is negative, the speaker is pointing a knife at your back. “No one believes your little act.” “Everyone thinks the pay is too low.” “No one wears their hair like that any more.”
One reason the news media is such a poor influence on society is their generalities. Just listen to the news or read a newspaper and you see generalities. “America was shocked and saddened . . .” “Sources revealed that . . .” “Critics asked why the President said . . .”
The newspaper reporter would not be as upsetting if he or she was specific. “My daughter asked me why the President said . . .”
Recommendation
Mr. Hubbard describes the best way to handle these generalized statements:
“When asked, ‘Who is everybody . . .’ it normally turns out to be one source and from this source the antisocial person has manufactured what he or she pretends is the whole opinion of the whole society.”
Examples of how to deal with generalized statements:
You: "So Jim, you say no one likes this financial policy? Who exactly?”
Jim: “Well . . . no one in particular. But, my mother said she wouldn’t like it if she were here . . . .”
You: “So Mary, you say everyone thinks I make too much money. Who exactly?”
Mary: "Oh, uh, well, Mrs. Jones implied it . . . and, uh, well you know, lots of people.”
You: "Who else?”
Mary: "I don’t know, I can’t remember. I guess that’s all.”
You: "Mrs. Jones, you say everyone thinks my wife is irresponsible? Who says that?”
Every time you hear a generality this week, ask “Who exactly?” Don’t believe “everyone” feels a certain way, believes a certain thing or agrees with the antisocial.
Social Personality
The world depends on the social personality. Constructive people make life better for those around them. Social personalities are opposite of the antisocial personality, such as how they communicate.
“1. The social personality is specific in relating circumstances. ‘Joe Jones said . . . ‘ ’The Star Newspaper reported . . . ‘ and gives sources of data where important or possible.
“He may use the generality of ‘they’ or ‘’people’ but seldom in connection with attributing statements or opinions of an alarming nature.” — L. Ron Hubbard
For example, the antisocial may say, “Everyone is worried you are making too many changes.” The social person would say, “Bob and Dorothy are worried you are making too many changes.”
The antisocial might say, “Everyone thinks it may be too soon for you to be back from the hospital as you were so sick” or “They say your dinner is almost as good as a restaurant.”
However, the social person would say, “Everyone is happy you’re back from the hospital” or “They really liked your dinner.”
We will cover other characteristics of the antisocial and social personalities in future articles (in two or three weeks).
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