The Secret to a Great
Marriage
Why are these statements all lies?
"The honeymoon is over. We can't get the spark back in our marriage."
"When I married you, I expected you'd stay in love with me."
"This other person is my soul mate and so I've got to get a divorce."
When you meet someone and fall in love, it seems like your love will last
forever. So you get married. You want a permanent feeling of love. Yet sooner or
later, it happens . . . no more spark.
Maybe a marriage counselor tells you to take a weekend trip together. If you
enjoy the weekend, you might feel a little spark again. But once you get back to
your routine, the honeymoon is over again.
Maybe you try a drug or drink some wine to make your marriage better. If it
helps, it is only temporary and then drops to new lows. Besides, who wants to
depend on a chemical for a good marriage?
All too often, husbands and wives give up. They either learn to live with a dead
relationship or get divorced.
The biggest lie is that once you get married, you can sit back and enjoy it..
Unfortunately, a marriage does not exist just because you have a marriage
license. A family does not exist just because you have children.
"It's very easy to break down a family because there is no relationship in
a family except a pretended relationship."
"Now, I'm not saying that marriage is a false relationship. It isn't. In this
society and time, a family is the closest knit, self-perpetuating,
self-protecting unit and is necessary economically and otherwise to the society
the way it's rigged at this present time."
"The relationship, basically, is a postulated* relationship. There is no truth
in the relationship. It is a postulated relationship.
"And when people stop postulating it, it ceases to exist!" -- L. Ron Hubbard
(*Postulated: Something you create or decide is true.)
Like a garden, a marriage needs constant work. To create a beautiful garden, you
need to remove the weeds and water the plants. If you do not constantly create
or postulate the garden, it dies.
If you and your spouse are creating your marriage, no one can come along and
ruin things. "He seduced my wife and ruined my marriage" is another lie.
A truthful statement is, "I ignored my marriage for two years, so she found
someone who wanted to create a relationship with her."
If you could just create a marriage one time and forget about it, everyone would
have a happy marriage. No one would get divorced.
Bottom line: A happy marriage requires constant creation by both parties on a
daily basis.
Examples of How to Create Your
Marriage
● Make an effort to make your spouse laugh whenever possible
● Praise his or her accomplishments
● Keep your body, breath and teeth clean
● Give small gifts and surprises
● If one of you is out of town, talk on the telephone at least once each day
● Agree on goals you can work on together
● Find ways to support your spouse
● Always be willing to listen
● Agree on the most pleasurable experiences you can enjoy together and do them
Of course, the most effective way to create your marriage or other relationship
is to decide to do so. If your desire is strong, you will come up with an
unlimited number of ways you can create it.
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