Moving Past Grief
Jim and Nancy fall in love at their first high school dance. They see each other
every day and talk on the phone every night. Jim looks forward to their marriage
and a life together.
The day after their high school graduation, Nancy says, "I'm sorry Jim, but I
want to date other guys now. Please don't call me again."
Jim pleads, yells and sulks. He tries letters, flowers, cards. He talks to
Nancy's family and friends. Nothing changes Nancy's mind. He asks himself every
hour, "How can I get her back? Why did she really leave me? What did I do
wrong?"
Jim stops eating, stops smiling, refuses to talk to his friends. He loses
interest in life and spends hours watching television in his room.
His mother tells him not to worry. "Time heals all wounds."
But after a few months, Jim is not over his loss. He can't get her out of his
mind. Time heals nothing.
A friend says, "You need to wash away your troubles with some beer!" So Jim
gives it a try. It seems to help! Jim feels better . . . for an hour. Then he
sees a girl with hair like Nancy's and gets tears in his eyes. Another beer
makes it worse. The next morning, Jim realizes beer is no solution.
Another friend says, "The best way to get over Nancy is to find a new
girlfriend!" So Jim goes out on a date with Jill. Her perfume reminds him of
Nancy, her laugh sounds like Nancy's. The music reminds him of Nancy. He wants
to go home and just think about Nancy. The date is a disaster.
Jim loses interest in school. A counselor gives him a booklet on depression. "Of
course," Jim thinks, "I need professional help." So he goes to a psychiatrist
who gives him a prescription. The pills make him feel wooden, but Nancy is still
on his mind most of the time.
The psychiatrist tells Jim's dad that Jim needs to take the pills forever. His
dad gets angry and throws away the pills. He tells Jim, "Just get over it!" Jim
goes to his room and cries.
----------------------------
Failure, loss and death are parts of life. You lose pets, jobs, businesses,
homes, friends, lovers and family members. Major losses can change your life
forever. For most people, the only options to the pain are drugs, alcohol or
time, none of which really help.
L. Ron Hubbard discovered two ways to get on with your life after a loss.
1. Shift Your Attention
You can help someone whose attention is on a loss by asking this question over
and over.
"Tell the person you are going to help them. Tell him or her, 'Find
something that isn't reminding you of ______ (name of person he or she lost).'
"Repeat the command, getting the person to find something else that is not
reminding him or her of the person until he or she has a realization and feels
better about the situation.
"This simple procedure can help the person recover from his or her lost love
and begin to live again." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You decide to help Jim get over his break up with Nancy.
You tell Jim, "Let me help you get over Nancy, okay? Here we go. Find something
that isn't reminding you of Nancy."
Jim looks around the room for a little while. "That mirror doesn't remind me of
Nancy."
You say, "Okay" and repeat the instruction: "Find something that isn't reminding
you of Nancy."
"The drapes."
You say "Okay" and repeat the command: "Find something that isn't reminding you
of Nancy."
"The couch. Oh, Nancy sat there. I sure miss her. Okay, that box of Cheerios."
"All right. Find something that isn't reminding you of Nancy."
"That plant. . . ."
After repeating this question a few dozen times, Jim's eyes become bright and he
smiles. "Nancy who? To heck with that. I feel better! Let's get something to
eat."
While it might take a few minutes or a few hours, Jim will snap out of it.
The technique works equally well with the loss of a job, a business,
money-anything you or the person you are helping wants to stop thinking about.
2. Erase the Emotional Pain
Harmful memories are stored in the mind at a conscious and unconscious level.
These memories ruin marriages, careers and your confidence. They cause unfounded
fears, unreasonable anger and irrational behavior. You carry this mental baggage
wherever you go. Harmful memories cause you to act in ways that are not really
YOU.
Dianetics eliminates the influence of these destructive memories. The
Grolier Encyclopedia defines Dianetics as: ". . . a form of counseling for
curing emotional and psychosomatic illnesses and enhancing life" (psychosomatic
illnesses: health problems stemming from the mind).
When you receive Dianetics counseling, you talk about your past in a certain way
until the emotional pain stops. The depression, grief and anxiety caused by your
memories are gone forever.
Benefits
When you reduce the emotional pain of memories, you enjoy these benefits:
* More energy
* Increased control
* Interest in new activities
* More self-confidence
* Higher intelligence
* Better health
* Reduced need for drugs, alcohol or medicine
* Less fear of failure
This article and 26 others can be found at our web site:
tipsforsuccess.org.
Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard.
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