Jealousy
No one wants a jealous mate and no one likes being jealous. Jealousy creates
anxiety, anger, loneliness, hate, fear. No one thinks clearly when feeling
jealous.
Having a relationship with a jealous person is tough. The jealous person acts
untrusting or unworthy. Jealousy makes the person unattractive, even repulsive.
What causes jealousy?
"Jealousy is the largest factor in breaking up marriages. Jealousy comes
about because of the insecurity of the jealous person and the jealousy may or
may not have foundation. This person is afraid of hidden communication lines and
will do anything to try to uncover them." -- L. Ron Hubbard
When you are jealous, a line of communication appears to exist with your spouse
or lover that is hidden from you. The mystery causes the pain. If you witnessed
your spouse's communication line, so it was not hidden from you, you would not
feel jealous.
Hidden communication lines or mysteries make you think of questions. "Will she
find someone she likes better than me?" "Is he having an affair?" "Is she going
to leave me?" "Does he think I'm unattractive?"
When you are jealous, the mystery makes you assume the worst. "Maybe he'll fall
in love with his cute receptionist and leave me." "She's going to lunch with her
old boyfriend because she's still attracted to him." "He'll come home and tell
me he wants a divorce."
How to Dissolve Jealousy
"Communication is the root of marital success from which a strong union
can grow, and non-communication is the rock on which the ship will bash out her
keel*." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Keel: The main structural part of a ship
that goes from bow to stern-front to back.)
If you are jealous, you need to communicate. You need to stop assuming the worst
and ask questions. Communicate your feelings so you can work out solutions.
Bob says to his wife, "I don't want to feel this jealously. I want to get rid of
it by asking you a question, okay? Good. So are you attracted to Joe?"
His wife says, "Heavens no! Joe just wanted some help with his son. I love YOU
like crazy!"
Bang! The hidden communication is revealed. The mystery is resolved. Bob feels
much better.
If Bob doesn't communicate, his wife's communication with Joe makes Bob jealous,
afraid and angry. Their marriage suffers.
If your mate is jealous, make sure you have no hidden lines of communication.
"Would you like to read this letter from Jill?" "Can you meet with Joe to help
with his son?"
Use communication to resolve the problem. For example, you notice Marcia is
acting upset and not talking. You ask yourself, "What communication line might
be hidden from Marcia?" You realize she's been acting annoyed ever since you
started working for an attractive female boss.
"Marcia, have I told you about my new boss?" Marcia jumps up and now wants to
talk. You communicate the facts and remove the mystery. Marcia is cheerful and
wants to go to a movie.
As well as using communication to resolve mysteries, communicate your feelings
for your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. Tell him or her how you feel. Express
your love. Show your affection.
Resolve the mysteries of the past. Discuss your feelings in the present. Make
plans for the future. Because of communication, your relationship will be a big
success.
L. Ron Hubbard also writes, "Jealousy comes about because of the
insecurity of the jealous person. . . ." Mr. Hubbard's discoveries on
insecurity are outlined in his book,
Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health, available in our bookstore
or at
www.dianetics.org.
Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard.
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